Lordling Quest: Warfare and Mis-rule in Renaissance Not-Europe

[captaincommunism]

>pick up nearest halberdier and use him as a weapon.

Rolled 1d100 : 38, total 38

[NauticalMongoose]

Diplomacy check for the epics: convince His Imperial Majesty that it is his duty to defend the rights of his nobles, and that the Diet may interpret his actions as a violation of the Imperial Constitution.

[Cataphrak]

You need to roll for that one, Juan.

[NauticalMongoose]

Rolled 1d100 : 18, total 18

[captaincommunism]

((this is looking like a rather short lordship...))

[Cataphrak]

>pick up nearest halberdier and use him as a weapon. This dice roll has been tampered with!
Rolled 1d100 : 38, total 38

This dice roll has been tampered with!
Rolled 1d100+30 : 25 + 30, total 55 (for being yaknow, thirty-six professional soldiers)

You rush the nearest armoured guard. brushing his polearm aside with your hugely muscled arms. Your fist crashes down on the man's helm like a warhammer and he quickly falls limp into your hands. Gripping him by his metal-plated forearms, you swing the unconscious halberdier around like a two-handed sword.

You swing the poor man around wildly. His swinging leg catches another guard in the chest and sends him sprawling. Unfortunately, unconscious halberdiers appear to be a lot heavier than they first looked. Before you can bring him around for a second swing, another guard hits you with a flying tackle.

You stagger, which is enough time for another five guards to slam you into the ground.

When the ringing clears from your ears, you can hear little save the sound of slow, quiet clapping. The Emperor is now propped jauntily upon his throne, wearing a self-satisfied smirk.

"Excellently done. Now, if you would fight so bravely and fiercely against the Abdhullad heathens, then we have nothing to fear with you on the frontier."

Emperor Maxim waves the guards away and allows you to stand back up upon your feet.

"I am afraid that you will not be inheriting your father's lands. They're too rich and too fertile, I doubt the life would suit you, Lord Mann-Einhalb. I will hand that little parcel over to one of my courtiers, who unlike you, finds violence a most undesirable prospect."

The Emperor motions for a quartet of servants to appear with a table with a large rolled sheet of parchment. He then commands you to approach.

"I have a more... exciting idea for what to do with you."

What do/say?

[NauticalMongoose]

"Does it involve killing? Because then I would be a most dutiful and worthy servant of Your Imperial Majesty!"

[kultz]

"By your majesty's will. I will carve a new fiefdom out of the heathens. As many as you want."

[captaincommunism]

WHOSE A MAN AND A HALF?! I'M A MAN AND A HALF! MAKE ME MADDER AND I WILL MAKE THEM HALVES! GIVE ME MEN TO MAKE HALVES OF!

[Cataphrak]

The Emperor's grin widens as you proclaim your willingness to open negotiations with the Abdhullads in the method considered most acceptable in Imperial government: by butchering their armies and razing their cities.

"Excellent, then we have an understanding. Allow me to explain what I propose."

The Emperor unrolls the sheet of parchment (a map) on the table and explains the situation: with growing military pressure from the Abdhullads to the east, the Emperor has decided to establish a "military frontier", a buffer zone maintained by dozens of minor lords of families old and new. It is the responsibility of these promising young nobles to protect the existing border towns and villages, construct new fortifications and provide troops for raiding into heathen territory and for the defence of the Empire. You will be one of these lords.

"We will, of course, have to ensure that your aggression are... channeled properly. I will provide you with a squadron of my best pistoliers and a veteran officer to escort you to your new fief and to serve as both your advisor and to ensure that you are able to rise to your full potential."

The Emperor rolls up the map.

"Make preparations, you will leave at dawn tomorrow."

You have half a day to prepare for your departure.
What do?

[captaincommunism]

>request cow from the court mess. devour said cow.

[kultz]

"Martial talent is obviously not enough. We must destroy the Abdullahs on every level! Physically, mentally, spiritually, culturally, and musically!"

"Quickly, there is little time to spare, I must gather a multi-talented crew of helpers with diverse backgrounds to provide amusing commentary and special skills!"

[captaincommunism]

I think we all know what this calls for: Bards. they'll be useful for when we run out of cows, I mean pork, I mean we won't be eating them at all. not at all.

[Cataphrak]

This plan of action intrigues me Jesse, elaborate.

[greencloak]

"Quickly, there is little time to spare, I must gather a multi-talented crew of helpers with diverse backgrounds to provide amusing commentary and special skills!"

And if they have hilarious personal quirks and an immediate distrust of each other, to the point that nobody sane would think they could ever be an ideal military group, so much the better!

[Gaming]

Summer 2013:

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